In most standard joint legal custody language is a provision that belonging of the children are allowed to be transitioned between the home of both parents.
This is included to avoid the dispute between parents where the parent who bought it won’t let the children take the item to the other parent’s home. That type of behavior is hurtful to the children and most Judges won’t allow it to go on. Something purchased for children is for them to use. It doesn’t matter who purchased the item. Restrictions where the belonging can be taken sends a message to the children without saying anything. Therefore, personal property belongs to the children and they decide where it goes- clothing, toys, books, electronics, etc.
Lately, we see a lot of parents restricting electronics from going back and forth. Whatever the electronic is, it was bought for the children to use. Only being able to use it a percentage of the time defeats its purpose.
As cellphones have become more accessible, parents buy them for children. In a lot of cases, the purchasing parent refuses to allow the child to take the cellphone to the other parent’s house. What is the purpose of a cellphone? To be able to communicate. If the cellphone is not sent between homes, how is it an effective tool to communicate with your children? The answer is that it isn’t. So, if you buy one, you run the risk of being mandated to send it back and forth with the child.
Additionally, we are also seeing situations where the purchasing parent refuses to give the other parent the cellphone number and punishes the child for doing so. To us, this is a violation of joint legal custody.
We are seeing a lot of dual-cellphones meaning a child has 2 cellphones. This is not in the best interest of children. It causes children to have to manage both phones, using them for different people including friends. A child has enough to manage in today’s society without having to remember which cellphone to charge and use in any given period.
An alternative option, suggest to your co-parent buying one cellphone and splitting costs. Talk about in advance what parameters should be applied to the use of the cellphone and the features- games, social media and parental controls including times when it can and cannot be used. Also, talk about monitoring the cellphone usage.
Toys seem like such a minor thing, but parents fight about a child being able to bring a stuffed animal or toy. Remember being a child and being attached to a stuffed rabbit or a specific truck? Imagine if you were told that can’t go somewhere. A lot of kids have attachments to things- toys or stuffed animals for security and not allowing a child to take the item back and forth impacts their feeling of security.
Besides cellphones and toys, we see a lot of restrictions on clothing items. Clothing can only fit a child for a limited period of time. Do not restrict your child from being able to wear his or her favorite t-shirt. Allow clothing to go back and forth. Be respectful and ensure something sent to your house is returned and the condition is it returned in is the same as when it was put on that morning- clean and laundered.