Litigation is an extremely stressful process. When litigation is coupled with family law issues involving children and finances, it is our opinion that the stress is magnified exponentially compared to non-family law related litigation. As such, it is important that litigants take time for themselves so that they do not become overwhelmed during litigation. Selfcare can be a variety of things from the extravagant to the downhome.
The purpose of selfcare from our prospective is to focus on you for a period time without influence from the outside word. That may mean that you ask a friend, family member or babysitter to watch the children for a bit so that you can take the time away to focus on you. It does not have to be a long period of time, it is not about the duration. It is about the focus that you give to the selfcare when you engage in the activity. It allows you to collect your thoughts and forget about the outside world for a short period of time. It might mean turning off your cellphone or avoiding social media during the downtime.
We often suggest to manage the stress that a therapist is a good option. A therapist can assist by being a sounding board. A therapist can provide good techniques to identify and reduce stress in your life. Do not be afraid to ask for a referral. Many family law attorneys deal regularly with therapists who have experience dealing with divorce, child custody and litigation issues. Use your attorney to help find the resources that you need to get through this difficult time. By using a therapist during the litigation process, we find that it can help reduce costs because the cost of therapy is usually substantially less than the rates of attorneys.
Here are some suggestions that we have shared with client and they have shared with us to help them manage the stress and care for themselves during litigation:
- Taking a walk by yourself or with a close friend.
- Go to the gym.
- Talk to a confidant about what you are going through.
- Look for a support group.
- Try a new recipe, make is something that you enjoy!
- Take a bath with the door lock so nobody can interrupt your time, buy a new bubble bath and light a candle.
- Go out for a pedicure or set up an at home pedicure night with your girlfriends. A container of Epsom salt, essential oils, lotion and a bottle of nail polish and you’re in business.
- Try a new activity. Recently, we went out for girls night to Axe Monkey for axe throwing. We had an amazing time, laughing through the whole night. It was a great stress reliever for everyone who participated.
- Start a new book and spend a certain amount of time nightly, only reading the book.
- Cupping is an amazing experience. It uses cups that suction to the body in spots where you are experiencing tension/pain to increase blood flow to the area. We use Jennifer Denman, LMT, you can find her on Facebook.